So there I was the other night collecting my heaven points when a lady called into whatever program I was watching to tell the host how much she admired Dick Cheney. Wait, what? Is this a prank call? But it wasn’t, because she went on to say that Dick has “stuck to his guns” and she loves how he “is who he is”. This lady, who clearly doesn’t have TV privileges in the nuthouse, likes that Dick refuses to change his rhetoric regardless of current events.

Now, I’ve actually heard a few other stupid people express similar feelings before. And again, feel free to replace “stupid” with “ignorant”. I can think of a few other words, but this site is for the children, so I try to keep it as clean as possible. Fuckin’ right. But anyway, after my head exploded listening to this ignorant woman, I started wondering what the hell might be wrong with her. What exactly is there to admire about someone who continues to say, believe, and do the same old crap when they are WRONG EVERY SINGLE TIME? About almost everything.

I’m wondering, would I be rewarded or admired at work if I “stuck to my guns”, but was consistently proven to be an idiot? Wouldn’t you start thinking I didn’t know what I was doing? Maybe? Wouldn’t you think maybe I wasn’t the right guy for the job?

Just wondering.

I think of this as the theory phase and it never ends. I’m very interested in theory. I’ve read plenty of books on code theory and design theory, and I’ve written pseudo code out the yin yang just to think about what it all means. I think sometimes there isn’t any more reason for this than there is to constantly wonder why we’ve been put on this Earth. Surely we could just try to lead a fulfilling life without wondering about answers that may never come. But we can do both and so we do.

I’m often as interested in discussing theory as I am in the actual work, but the split is usually 90/10 in favor of the work. But don’t confuse discussing theory with sitting around and talking about what ‘the plan’ is. I’m not interested in that. I’ve been credited before with having good project vision, but that doesn’t mean I like to talk about it excessively. I prefer to start working.

I love a good label as much as the next guy, which is why I feel I should tell you that since I’ve started reading Managing Humans, I’ve realized that I fall more into the Completionist camp. And that seems to be both good and bad (like everything else). I know plenty of Incrementalists. I admire the abilities they have that I do not. I drive myself crazy shaping what I do to fit the way I do things. Trust me when I tell you that I have a very specific way of doing things, and in the most non horn tooting of ways I can share that I have pretty high standards. Consistency in process is my religion even while innovation (within a certain set of limitations) is my goal.

Someone asked me the other day regarding my work, “where do you get your styles?” And because I was so taken aback by the question I may have reacted with unintended hostility. My response was certainly the loudest part of our conversation. But I can’t blame that person for asking me the question, because I know it was asked innocently. I think it’s probably the norm to expect that styles were “borrowed” rather than to start with the assumption that they were created from scratch. Which mine are. And that isn’t to suggest that there aren’t inherent similarities among corporate design, especially when dealing with the fairly limited requirements of most web applications.

I’ve always found that it’s easiest to navigate the business environment by recognizing the skills others have that you do not have, while trying to achieve some sort of collaboration that brings out the best in everyone. I know lots of smart people that I’m really impressed with, but I never forget that most of have come to our positions and developed our skills along very different paths. And these differences explain the type of questions we ask, what we believe, and where we draw boundaries regarding our work.

I read an article last week in the New York Times that reported 1 in 5 Americans believe the sun revolves around the Earth. Hmm…I thought, who are these people? Bush voters? Kentuckians? Texas Longhorn fans? But no, they’re probably just regular people. You might even know a few of them. After thinking about it for a while, it occurred to me that they probably don’t especially stand out in day to day life. As crazy as it might sound, they probably just don’t know anything about the solar system, or the Earth, or how it all works. Yes, it’s common knowledge to most of us. But that can be difficult to define.

Just like you people (of course), I’m able to hold two opposing views in my head at the same time. I know what I believe. And if I’m arguing about something, I usually know what you believe too. For instance, I can’t stand Rush Limbaugh, but I’ve read two of his books. Bible thumpers make me crazy but I’ve read the entire Old Testament (Leviticus Rules!) and various books of the New Testament. I’m willing to consider anything. I love Richard Dawkins, but I lean more towards the Clockmaker hypothesis for my own stupid reasons.

It’s easy to categorize people as smart or dumb based on your interactions with them, but I think most of the time it’s simply a lack of information. Ignorance, if you will. This lack of information is typically compounded by the belief that it doesn’t exist. I sometimes talk to people about politics, who tell me that they don’t like a certain person, or they believe a certain thing, but when questioned about it, they can’t give any reason they think that way. I think most of the time they’ve been led to believe they’re supposed to think a certain way, and so they do, but they don’t really know why. Plenty of people take the attitude that they know all they need to know already, and so they shut down. That kind of thing leads people to routinely vote against their own self interest. It also leads to people who believe the sun revolves around the Earth.

I spend a lot of time thinking about user interfaces, and how people use tools, and the ways that applications and processes can be enhanced to make a more pleasing (and efficient) user experience. I’m actually paid to do that, although there are others with similar jobs who I suppose are paid to do that as well, but don’t really do it. I blame the schools, who teach people how to code but in a “slap some textboxes on the page” kind of way. I mean seriously, if I look at your apps stylesheet, and it says “Default application stylesheet” or some crap like that, then I’m guessing (GUESSING) that you’ve shortchanged your users.

Oh blah, blah. I’m off topic. The point is that Google recently moved the links that went to other areas of their site from just above the giant textbox to waaaaay up at the top of the page. And though you may not value extra mouse movement like I do, it’s now a royal pain in the ass to switch to image search, or groups, etc. I realize they made this change to move the front page into alignment with the moon and stars other areas of the site, but I think it smacks of change that wasn’t necessary.

You can click over to Google on your own, but here it is anyway.

Blank space. Shame. Please switch back. And also, PLEASE put some padding between the bottom of that giant textbox and the buttons. White space people.

I mentioned I’m not perfect, right?

I’m a bit more introspective in my old age. Oh sure, I THOUGHT I was introspective when I was younger, but that was just ignorance. Sweet, sweet ignorance. Looking back, I find that I held on to some things for too long, and maybe others for not nearly long enough. About ten years ago I almost did a number of stupid things over what has proven to be the worst relationship in my adult life. The fact that I thought it was a good relationship at the time is proof that I was an idiot. And of course, this is just one example, but I have news for you smart kids out there. You don’t know shit about life. Sorry. My feelings about the Boomers aside, it’s fair for them to say that I don’t know shit either. Because I don’t. It’s almost a waste really. We build all of this great knowledge and then WHAM…dead. It’s like that time Lex Luthor started building a frontier house and then Clint Eastwood came along and shot him because deserve ain’t got nothing to do with it. Yes, just like that.

As a people, I think we look the same now as we did ten years ago, but with more gadgets. I’m watching TV from 1995 almost every day and the clothes are the same. The people talk the same. Watching TV from 1985 back in 1995 was like watching the documentary footage of a whacked out culture on some strange planet. Like Kentucky, but further away.

I finished 2nd grade and was promoted to the 3rd when the 80’s reached a midpoint. Trucker hats and knee high socks. A lemonade stand with two customers. Lazy days of summer. No concept of thirty or beyond.

Mother’s Day was this past weekend. We took my Mom out for lunch. Her name is Virginia. She probably thinks that most of these entries are proof that I am crazy. But that’s okay, because she never told me how to think. She just told me to think. And to apply myself. And I’m still working on that. My children will never know my father. And that’s sad. But they will know my mother. And if I am still here when she is gone, I will show my grandchildren her photo and say to them, “This was my mother. We didn’t always agree. She was the strongest person I’ve known in my life. She saved our family when my father died. I never deserved her, but I loved her.”

This work is most often for my employer, but also for myself. And because I do similar things in both areas, the line is sort of blurred. And that’s the way I like it, because I tend to think of it less as work and more as learning. And shield yourself from my bright dork light, but learning is fun! And professional development as well, but that sounds like a boomer term. &#@%*! boomers.

I tend to sleep about as much as a medical intern. I have a compulsive need to “do stuff”. I’d mow the grass in the middle of the night if I didn’t think it would be frowned upon by the normal folk in the neighborhood. But instead, I spend a lot of time working and reading. And not writing on this site consistently because sometimes the work percentage increases and I choose to spend any extra time on input rather than on the spread of disinformation.

Onward to the point, someone asked me the other day about where I read something or other, and although I couldn’t remember, I know there are plenty of sites that I read daily that aren’t listed on the sidebar. And so I’ve listed a few here that could get you started on the path to madness. It’s a pretty random assortment of sites, and while you may not consider any particular one to be a great resource (though some undoubtedly are) they contain a wealth of varied information. If you’re an Interweb geek like me, you’ve been to most of these (some are incredibly popular), but for the large pool of regular people that I know read this site, have a look.

• Austinist - Guess what this one is about
• Leonard Pitts Jr. - Leonard Pitts Jr. is my personal hero.
• The News Hole
• goldenfiddle - Too much to do here. Must stop clicking…
• Daring Fireball
• Crooks and Liars
• Digg - I’m embarrassed to put this here, but I know somebody on Planet Earth still hasn’t heard about Digg. Probably only my grandma, but still.
• Engadget
• Uncrate - I want this stuff. All of it.
• Pink Dome
• Lifehacker - See comments on Digg.
• McSweeney’s
• Talking Points Memo
• The Dilbert Blog - This guy’s blog is even funnier than his comic. I’m jealous.
• The Morning News
• Texas Observer Blog - The greatest blog logo in the history of blog logos.
• The Consumerist
• Whitesoap
• Kevin Kelly - Click on everything on this site.
• Coding Horror
• Alpha Blog
• AlterNet
• AnandTech
• Page 2

I’ve grown to like XP over the years in a number of ways, but I have never been a fan of the base Luna style. It’s the blue. I don’t care for the strange blue color. For the first few years I used XP I stuck with the Classic style, and that felt pretty good. Over time I migrated to the more cartoonish default. But again, I never cared for the blue.

Using a theme hack, I’ve tried a number of user authored styles over the years, but most felt poorly put together or just plain ugly. The first viable option I encountered was when Microsoft released another official theme called Royale/Energy Blue. Royale was different from Luna in a number of ways, but most importantly in that it employed a subtle metallic blue. But that didn’t quite work for me either because the one part I liked about Luna was the beige object color that Royale replaced with a dull grey. So I alternated between the two styles, never too pleased with either.

That is until I started playing around with a resource hacker and created my own hybrid theme that I’ve deemed RoyaLuna. Yes, I suck at naming things. But my parents named me Greg, so it’s obviously hereditary.

RoyaLuna is a pretty simple style. I’ve basically taken Luna and replaced the horrible blue with the Royale blue. This change includes the taskbar, system tray, start menu, title bars, scroll bars, and a few other select objects. But in a very nice way. And with the Luna beige.

And so, to make a long story only a bit longer, I’m offering up this CRAZY theme for anyone else that might like working in a normal XP environment, sans the horrible Luna blue. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Follow these 3 steps to use RoyaLuna on your machine:

1. First, download, extract, and run the UX Theme Multi-Patcher. Accept the prompts, and DO NOT let the system revert back to the files that you are replacing. Reboot.
2. After that is complete, download and extract the theme file and save it to: C:\WINDOWS\Resources\Themes
3. Double-click the file you just put in your Themes directory to bring up Display Properties and select RoyaLuna.

And that’s it. For the image inclined, this is how my desktop looks using the RoyaLuna theme.

To make things go smoother while following the instructions above, listen to this song and pretend to be a badass.

Peace & Love.

- Sen. Charles E. Schumer, D-N.Y.

Acie Law IV 2003-2007 Texas A&M University

The quality of those hours is probably up for debate in some circles, but with all of that time spent working, it’s important to have a quality work space.

I’ve been thinking about environmental control lately because my department at work is moving to another area. And while few of us can control our work area at the office, we can usually control the same at home.

It took me about a year to gather the various pieces of my home office from small towns all over Central Texas, and I just finished putting it all together last year. I’ve had a 50ish Texas office theme in my head since I was a kid. My best effort is represented below. This is where I do my best work.

** Editor’s note: “Best” is a relative term and may actually translate into English as “TV watching”. No purchase necessary. This post was not tested on animals.

Click each image for a larger view.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Head over to the photo site to view the complete set with a few comments added for flavor.

Find out what I consider to be optimum lighting conditions. See my external hard drive security crew. Witness the most incredible, ugliest router I have ever owned. View my favorite keyboard/mouse combination.

And everything else…

Either way, feel free to take advantage of the wealth of entertainment offered below. See you next week.

• Goodbye Harry-Boo

  A friend of mine’s cat was killed this week by a dog doing what dogs usually do. Irresponsible pet ownership is a crime and it should be treated that way more often. I wrote this a few years ago but have thought about it this week while contemplating the painful nature of losing animals that become as close to us as any human being. Godspeed Orion.

• Garden State / Million Dollar Baby

  Looking to rent a slightly older movie? You couldn’t go wrong with either of these choices that I rambled on about and dug up in the archives. Million Dollar Baby is heartbreaking and Garden State spoke to me like no other movie I can recall. Hit the rental store.

• Tales of a Small Town Gangsta

  This entry was written about a wedding I attended in small town Texas back in 1995. I thought about it the other day because I may or may not be attending my cousin’s wedding next month. The same cousin who didn’t attend my wedding or send a gift. Not that I’m bitter.

• Hazardous to your Health

  Going out to eat this weekend? By God, make sure they have plenty of Sweet and Low in stock if you require a regular dosage like I do. Things could get ugly otherwise.

That said I was pleased to see that the Dixie Chicks won several categories they were nominated in. It was a great night for the girls. And after a rough couple of years and the large scale fan backlash, it was surely a welcome “in your face” to the haters who promptly turned their televisions off. I particularly enjoyed the cut away shot of Reba McEntire after the trio won their first award. The same Reba who made an unfunny joke at a country awards show last year that drew loud applause from the largely conservative crowd. The wife summed it up best last night when noting, “I haven’t cared for Reba since that comment”. Me either. And not because I’m unable to separate political views from how I feel about an artist, but because her mean spirited “joke” tried to make it appear that the ‘Chicks has said something wrong, and that they had to somehow live it down.

Reba’s attempt to frame the fallout within her own narrow terms isn’t anything new. Some politicians do it every day. Bill O’Reilly has made a career out of it. But I don’t think it fools people like it once may have. The Dixie Chicks turned their defiance into an album and song that won multiple awards last night. And they’ve tried to shift away from a music genre that may not have come to terms with the breaking news that the ability to sing country music does not determine your political leanings.

And for that matter, they aren’t lesser Texans for not being fans of the president. Just like the Americans turning against this administration are not lesser patriots. We have different opinions, and you may not like how we express ourselves, but we’re all around you. Burn our books, trash our music, make fun of us for not liking that our state is represented by a man we loathe. But we’re still here. And in some cases, mad as hell.

In no particular order.

Das beste von alles

• The visitors who did not find their way to this site by actually typing in the address were most often directed here after searching Google (and others) for: ‘sweet pickles books’ (and other variations), ‘spaceballs the sequel’, ‘gay adoption negative’, ‘Galveston Island’, and ‘Second Negative’. A number of others searched for someone named ‘Greg Hanover’, but those are probably people I actually know, so they don’t count. The Sweet Pickles entry that I wrote a couple of years ago remains the most visited and commented page on this site. The search engine traffic has created a mini Sweet Pickles message board. And for the record, I wrote in support of gay adoption back in 2004, so I’m guessing people searching for ‘gay adoption negative’ aren’t finding that entry very helpful.
• The majority of people who left this site by clicking a link were going to the photo site. Most of the rest were going to a Noteworthy link. Oddly, the political links are the most popular. I say oddly, because that isn’t usually the case with the political entries.
• I’ve written a large percentage of entries about television/entertainment and received a lot of referral traffic from TelevisionWithoutPity. Trench over at 7MilesDown sent the most people my way from a standard link (rather than from a comment I left somewhere). And as usual, Google directed the most visitors to all areas of the site. Google Images Search sent people here A LOT for a picture of Skeletor that I used in this entry.
• The most visited entries of 2006 were Two Horns and a Tail, and A Word About Beer, which were both pretty light posts. That those were the most popular probably suggests that I didn’t write enough last year. But I appreciate the interest.
• I’ve never really been able to pick anything that I’ve written as my favorite (it’s all questionable), but I liked what I wrote just after I asked Nicole to marry me. I’ve also enjoyed the feedback over the last year, and laughed for a long time at Stefan’s comment on kids from January of last year. Hilarious. It’s also always nice to hear from old timers like Jeff (lurker!) who pop back in every few months or so. One day I’ll write about Where the Red Fern Grows and how it can make a grown man cry, and Jeff will know what I mean.
• The browser of choice for visitors to this website is still all versions of IE at a rate of 51%. That is unfortunate, but FireFox comes in second at 38% and that is encouraging. How do people live without the Fox? Seriously. Safari (Mac) clocks in at 5% and there is a long list of others at under 1%.
• The resolution used by 46% of Second Negative visitors was 1024×768. And if the average user I’ve encountered is indicative of anything, plenty of those visitors are using a 19 inch monitor. Which is just wrong, but I’ll save the real scorn for any of the 9% of visitors using 800×600, but only if it’s on a large monitor. Continuing completely out of order, 17% are using 1280×1024 and everything else is a much smaller percentage. For the record, I’m using 1920×1200, but only 1% of visitors do the same.

And that’s a wrap. Thanks to everyone who stopped by and helped to make this site everything it was in 2006. And thanks to spell check, IBC Root Beer, and The Hanover Band for helping me to put out a third straight year of total nonsense. See you on the other side.

Oh, but why the change Greg, why?? Oh you rabid fan base. I was mostly looking to elevate the level of fug around here to a new level, but I was also tired of looking at the brown/beige. That “design” wasn’t actually intended to last longer than a few months and I wanted to move the bacon over, because it was time for something leaner. Mmm…fake pig. I also brought back a modified version of the logo, and went nuts with the Silk icons. Yes, they’ve been on the site for about a year, but now they’re everywhere.

The body font is set in Lucida Grande, but you may see Verdana if you don’t have LG installed. I’m not sure about the percentages on that for Windows users, but it’s a great font, and comes standard on the Mac. Fascinating sidenote: I type all of these entries up in Courier New. I don’t know why. The site should look like this to most visitors. IE6 users may see some overflow in the comments section, and I’m working on that, but it’s your fault, and you know why.

If anyone has upgraded to Shaun Inman’s full version Mint update and wants to email their thoughts, I’ll probably move my lips while reading them.

Until then, that’s all folks. Oink.

This short assault on the English language is somewhat inspired by the recent Golden Globes, but also partially due to Ice Storm 2007 keeping the office closed since Monday and forcing me to watch even more television than usual. Yes, even more! And sleeping. Same amount.

Two paragraphs already and still no point. Still reading? Damn. I’ll go on anyway. Four shows that I’m enjoying right now that you could/should/would be enjoying too are (surprisingly) listed below:

1. Friday Night Lights - I can’t tell you enough about how good this show is, but even if I did, you probably wouldn’t watch it. Besides me and a few people in Florida, nobody else has bothered. Maybe you don’t like football. Great! It’s not really about football. It’s about the pressure to succeed, life, etc. It’s very powerful, but it doesn’t matter because you aren’t going to watch it. Please watch it.

2. Scrubs - Damn you people, how many years can you ignore Scrubs?! Well, no matter, because it’s been on the air all these years without you. In your face Jobu. But seriously, this is the funniest show you’re not watching, unless you sampled it and thought it wasn’t funny. Then you’re just stupid missing out. You probably also rent movies like “John Tucker Must Die”, but I’m just guessing.

3. 30 Rock - Some shows are only for a niche audience. Like “The Office” which I don’t like. Sorry. But this niche show has Alec Baldwin. Alec “Sorry, I smelled crazy in here and thought it was you” Baldwin. Seriously, rent Glengarry Glen Ross. Alec Baldwin is a badass. Always be closing. I’m talking to you Jack Lemmon. Also, rest in peace. Baldwin is funny as hell in this show. Watch it a few times just for him. Stay for everyone else. Especially the guy with the trucker hat(s).

4. Ugly Betty - Nicole is going to say it’s not fair that I included this show since I’ve only seen it a few times and I made fun of it at first. But that’s how I find everything. Before I watched Scrubs (back in the dark ages) I refused to even watch an episode. Why? Because like Imus, I was doing a lot of vodka and cocaine back then. Just kidding Mom. About the vodka. Sadly, I also waited until season 3 to start watching The X-Files because I was convinced it was about “a bunch of stupid alien shit”. This from the guy who later named Buffy the best show of all time. Me.

   Meanwhile, Ugly Betty is funny and well written. And that Betty is pretty adorable. Yeah, I said it. If I wasn’t hooked on Smallville like a nympho on rhymes with Dick Cheney, I’d watch Betty live, but until then, that stupid DVR had better start working. Oh how I despise you SuddenLink.

So that’s it. I’ve typed this extremely fast because I didn’t space my NoDoz far enough apart. I’ll need to wrap it up now because my heart may explode soon. Watch these shows. Let me know what you’re watching. I can squeeze it in. I’m on Centaurian time, standard thirty-seven hour day. You’ll get used to it.

To be completely fair, I’ve never hated Bush. I just think that he’s been a terrible president. Which incidentally is the same thing I thought before the last election, when plenty of the recent turncoat right-wingers came out of the closet to pronounce him the second coming of Reagan, as if that was any sort of compliment.

Reading the editorial pages down here has become comical over the past year as conservative readers write in to express dismay at the direction Bush has taken the country. Well hallelujah and welcome to the real world people. Let me make room for you on the bandwagon. Lunch will be served in an hour. It’s crow, but there’s plenty to go around.

The story of this administration’s incompetence isn’t news to at least 48% of us. We’ve known for years. We’ve watched one foul up after another while you were out with your friends at the “Global Warming is a Myth” rally sponsored by Exxon.

As if that wasn’t enough, I discovered over the Christmas holiday that someone I know is now sporting a huge Buck Fush sticker on their automobile. They’ve never been a Republican (as far as I can recall) but they’ve never exactly been political either. And thinking about it, they tend to see things in black and white, don’t really read, and often mangle the English language in new and scary ways. They’re against Bush? They ARE Bush. Talk about reaching out to your base.

Sadly, even now, after the wake-up call provided by the Democrats landslide victory in the mid-term elections, Bush takes one positive step forward followed by two quick steps back. There isn’t an easy way out for him at this point because his legacy will be based on Iraq. Remember that disaster? The one the administration said we were winning right up until the recent confirmation hearings when Dr. Gates was asked if he believed we were winning the war in Iraq. His reply? “No sir.”

Of course, I’m not really celebrating over here just because I knew something the other side didn’t. I know plenty they don’t know. And we’ll probably be dead before they find out. But someone is going to have to clean up this mess. And although I don’t know who that will be, the t-shirts tell me it takes a Clinton to clean up after a Bush.

Merry Christmas!

“Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.” - Dave Barry

There are people that have difficulty understanding that bad decisions in and of themselves do not make you a bad person. And though it may be convenient to ignore the good works, we are a sum of both. We are all flawed. Most of us are walking contradictions. We judge, but say we don’t. We draw imaginary lines for what we believe is acceptable behavior. A number of us are kidding ourselves.

In a few short months I will be thirty years old. Looking back, I don’t recall any specific comprehension of the age I am now. I am different, and yet the same. I believe in people. I appreciate others more now than before. I miss old friends I’ve lost contact with over the years. I regret some decisions that I’ve made, but I am fiercely proud of others. I’ve never been motivated by money. I have more than some, less than others. I often look slightly disheveled, perhaps a bit haggard. It’s a product of my sleepless lifestyle. As I’ve grown older I’ve traded Grisham and Clancy for Sagan, Dawkins and others that cause me to propose long winded hypothetical questions to Nicole, who pretends I’m not insane. I wish they all could be California girls. I’m not religious. I think organized religion is part of the problem. But I believe there is more than this life, more than we could ever comprehend. I’ve grown more cynical with age, but probably more loving and understanding. The most important people in my life have all been women. I owe them everything.

Next Saturday I’m going to marry the sweetest girl you could ever hope to meet. True story.

I had originally intended to take the site down for a few days while serving up that wonderfully descriptive 403 page, but a few days turned into a few weeks. If you’re one of the people who checked in every day hoping I had written something new, I apologize for the long delay. I appreciate your interest and thank you for your continued patronage of this website. Give me a hug.

I’d like to keep this brief, but what you are looking at is actually a complete rebuild from the ground up. There are certain elements that are similar to the old design (which you can view on the About page), but I rewrote, re-edited, and basically cleaned up everything that had come before. I wrote a fair amount of conditional PHP to make certain parts of this site as dynamic as I’d always wanted them to be. And I attempted to simplify and streamline the CSS, which had become somewhat of a functional mess. Rest assured, it is still far from perfect, but I’m satisfied enough to launch this rebuild.

If your monitor is calibrated correctly and we have somewhat similar color vision, you should see a beige/tan content (wide) area and a brown sidebar. If the brown is indistinguishable from the background, your monitor may not be bright enough. I had that problem myself until a few months ago. I’d constantly read about some mystery guy in the background of photos that I could never see. A new monitor fixed the problem and changed my life. Yes it’s true. I can see people in photos now. And I’ve come to realize that there are SHADES of black. Gasp!

This color scheme was inspired by our wedding colors. Did I mention I’m getting married in less than a month? Hopefully I’ll get around to posting one of our invitations in the next few days, and you’ll see what I mean. Nicole can’t spot the difference between #333 and #666 (smirk) but she has a great eye for color. Obviously otherwise completely blind, but…yeah.

I removed the old logo and tried to improve the site in ways that focused on greater access to content. It is simpler in some ways, and yet incredibly more complex. I hope you enjoy the new look. It will undoubtedly change over the new few weeks as I tweak compulsively to satisfy whatever disease I surely have that has remained undiagnosed. As always, thanks for reading.

But for whatever reason, instead of thinking much about my former debate coach and her unfairly prepared kid, the first thing that popped into my head was the image of a friend of mine putting her oldest kid’s head in a urinal and flushing it repeatedly. Ah, good times. But wait, I’m going to get serious here in a minute. Why? Because as I sat with hand upon chin wistfully staring at the ceiling, I remembered something really strange. This teacher (who I liked then, and appreciate even more now) had a picture of her husband and kids on her desk that we would sometimes use to express ourselves artistically. Specifically, we would use a dry erase marker to draw horns and a tail on her husband. Because it was funny. Still is. But the point is that this lady was kind of fun and easy going (for a teacher) and we might have done something like that to anyone foolish enough to put out a personal photo.

Upon discovering our “artwork” this teacher made a comment about how we were terrible, but otherwise didn’t really seem upset. She was certainly not as upset as this one crazy old teacher at my school who had a bad case of shell shock that kicked into overdrive anytime he witnessed a particularly gruesome MURDER BY WATER GUN.

I wouldn’t have given the situation much more thought, but the next day the teacher showed up at school with a big stack of reports that detailed how Middle Eastern immigrants (like her husband) had a higher income and contributed more to society, etc. than the average person born in the United States. Now clearly a nice set of statistics makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over, but all of this from a set of horns and a tail? I mean it’s not like he was Irish and we drew a bottle of beer and made him look drunk. Is there some devil stereotype that I’m unaware of? Because if there is, it should really be used on the Dutch. Those bastards.

And that’s all. It was a very strange incident. And just so you know, I’m getting all my race stories out of the way before summer ends because I like to make up strange fake deadlines for non-themes. And that last post about stupid white people (Republicans) certainly inspired an avalanche of feedback.

But first, have a look.

I understood the meaning to be that all of this bad stuff happens to black people just because they are black, and they can’t do anything about it, but as soon as they want help getting into a better school (maybe uh…to help break the cycle of poverty), you’ve got whitey out there complaining that they want a handout just because they’re black. Yes, how ironical.

I didn’t give it much more thought until the next week when a black woman (photo included) wrote into the paper upset about the cartoon. The letter byline read “Offended by bias, attitude displayed in comic”. She described the cartoon as racist and complained about the insensitivity of the white sign holder.

So yeah, I was pretty shocked by this development. Even more shocked after I asked the future wife for her interpretation of the comic and she had the same view as the letter writer. How could I be so wrong? Wrong? Me? Seriously?

The thing is, I don’t think I was wrong. I’ve viewed a few weeks worth of Mike Thompson’s work and I’m convinced that he’s of the leftward persuasion. That alone may not mean anything, but combined with the visual clues, like the man’s sign and his exaggerated clothes and hat lead me to believe that the cartoonist intended to make a point about the blinders some people wear when they view the world.

Your thoughts?

And of course, right in line with my “everybody my age is an idiot” paradigm, the offense is exacerbated when the tie wearing is perpetrated by a guy in his 20’s. It’s only going to get worse next year because I’m going to stop trusting people in their 30’s while simultaneously starting to despise people in their 20’s. Life continues to get more difficult.

I suppose suits are supposed to symbolize success or professionalism, or some such nonsense. But, really? I mean, so you put on an ugly double breasted suit and shazaam, you’re somebody to reckon with? I don’t think so. In fact, I think most people in suits look like they’re selling something. How can we really get down to business with that suit between us? I’m sitting here wearing my jeans and polo shirt and you’re rattling off some bullshit nobody ever really believes anyway.

My theory is that only old people are impressed by suits. And by old people, I mean my parents, and your parents. And their parents. Would you think more or less of Bush if he always came out in jeans? It doesn’t make a difference to me. Maybe you don’t want the important types dressing like homeless people (or looking like they attend the local university), but the suit and tie seems a little dated. I say bring on the denim and loose morals. Whoooo.

Back to the beer, I’m a big fan of Shiner Bock. I can’t recall when I started drinking it, but I’m sure that it wasn’t until I was of legal drinking age. Because underage drinking is wrong. Uh, wink. Shiner Bock is sort of an amber color with a slight reddish quality. It’s not exactly light colored, and even though it is sometimes classified as dark, I’d hardly call it that. I had a couple at my grandpa’s birthday dinner a few weeks ago, and some members of my family acted like I was drinking coffee. The funny thing is that we each thing the other is the freak. And by “freak”, I mean “idiot”.

Like most things in life, you can split good beer and bad beer into different categories based on expectations. If you want to see a thought provoking film with great dialogue, I wouldn’t recommend Armageddon. Quality isn’t generally for everybody. It doesn’t mean that I’m better than you (yes it does), only that we like different things. You like Miller Lite, and I’ve decided that piss isn’t a beverage. I find that Shiner has a kind of a wheat taste, but I’m not really good at explaining why I like things. I’m much better at complaining, making fun of stuff, and casting random aspersions. Cast, cast, cast.

If you can’t tell the difference between quality and crap (in any medium) then you aren’t paying attention. Scrubs isn’t equal to According to Jim (although I enjoy both). If you tell me that you don’t think movies are supposed to make you think, then be prepared to not hear me telling Nicole that I think you’re an imbecile about three seconds after I get in the car. I’m thinking about boycotting George Clooney’s movies because he’s the newest Budweiser voice-over guy. Mass produced American beers are popular because of marketing and price (although the price isn’t that much lower). I’m not surprised. The same country voted for George W. Bush. Twice! That’s one helluva marketing job considering the quality of the product.

The old photo albums have been missing for about a week now and they will not return. Instead, I’ve switched to an all new SQL and PHP powered solution with a backend managed by the highly recommended ZenPhoto. I’ve been very pleased with the features and extensibility of the new code. And I have finally been able to enable comments on individual photos. That’s not to say that you people will actually leave any comments, but I’m glad to be able to provide the option.

Most of the album links on Second Negative have been updated and a redirect is in place to send search engine visitors to the new site. I’ve moved the photo albums over to my Greg Hanover website so that I will be able to share photos with my friends and family and Nicole’s friends and family without necessarily subjecting them to something I’m writing (or not writing) on this site.

And that’s about all there is to say. Visit the new photo site if you have a minute, browse around, and feel free to leave us a comment. There are currently 6 albums available to view, but there are many more on the way in the new few days and weeks. After I finish uploading old albums, I plan on regularly updating the site with new images, and maybe even creating some sort of semi-daily photo. Who knows? But it’ll be fun.

In all the seasons I’ve watched the show, I can’t say that I’ve ever really had a favorite to win it all. I’ve usually liked some of the singers better than others, but I didn’t exactly rush out to download buy their debut albums. But then came this year. I really can’t say enough about Taylor Hicks. I’d guess you either love him or you just don’t get it, because I haven’t encountered a lot of middle ground. I wasn’t sure what I thought about him for a while but put me down as a member of his oft mentioned Soul Patrol. Has anyone ever had more fun on stage than Taylor Hicks? This guy knows what it means to put on a performance and that’s a special quality. I find myself smiling when he’s singing. Somehow I just him to do well.

Although it’s down to the final two this week, and he’s more than likely to win, some people are wondering if he’ll be able to sell albums. Will the stage show transfer? I actually think it will. He has certainly shown that he can stand there and sing and sing very well, when he chooses to do so. This grey haired young old man Taylor Hicks, who grew up loving Ray Charles and Otis Redding beat the odds to even get on the show. He’s living a dream to make it to the finals and having a helluva time. I can really get behind that.

It seems like lately it’s difficult to go a day without hearing something about blogs or blogging. Television shows in particular have jumped on the bandwagon. Characters talk about their blogs on the show and writers create fake blogs to provide background information. TV Guide recently converted almost all of their online content into mini blogs. Strangely, I’ve heard a number of people on TV refer to their blog entries as “blogs”. As in, have you been reading my blogs? Which is complete shit, because the blog is the website. What you write is an entry or a post. But I’m not making the rules here. I’m just laughing at you.

MySpace seems to be the flavor of the month. I don’t know much about it, but it appears to be a blog hybrid kind of thing. And that’s great because it really just depends on what you’re looking for. And everybody is looking for something different, whether it’s a place to write, or a community, or something to tinker with.

It’s interesting that even though most of us are busier than ever, we keep squeezing more stuff in, whether it’s blogging or something else. There are so many different ways to gather new information that we are constantly learning, and on a higher level of complexity than ever before. It’s a constant process in the never-ending race to stay one step ahead of your average five year old.