You are viewing entries in 
Chronicles.
Across the Universe
I turned thirty a few weeks ago. And that was it. It was sort of a non event in my life to be perfectly honest. Nicole arranged a great little celebration and I had a nice time, but it didn’t really feel like a milestone birthday. I honestly can’t believe I’m [...]
Merry Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, etc.
From my 1.0 wife, 2.0 cats, and 1.0 rubber rat to yours, I hope you have a wonderful holiday season, doing whatever it is you do to celebrate. If you would like to add my (on life support) bowl picks to your prayers, feel free.
“Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, [...]
Non-Fiction
I have a photo of Bill Clinton that I keep on a shelf at work. I’ve always liked the man of course, but it’s more complicated than that. Clinton reminds me that most of us exist in shades of gray. There are few, if any people that are all good or all [...]
Feet on the Ground
File this under stuff you need to know, but I don’t like to fly. I don’t like anything about it. I don’t like the part where you get on the plane, or the part where you sit down and try not to look out the window, but can’t help but look out the [...]
Twenty-Nine
“To me, the thing about birthday parties is that the first birthday party you have and the last birthday party you have are actually quite similar. You know, you just kinda sit there… you’re the least excited person at the party. You don’t even really realize that there is a party. You don’t know what’s [...]
Officially the Future Wife
I asked Nicole to marry me this weekend. And it only took five years. Five wonderful years. We ate at a romantic little café in downtown Austin, and went on a horse drawn carriage ride. It was a perfect evening in every possible way.
Looking back on my life before I met Nicole, I’m not proud [...]
Write my Order down
The experience you have at a restaurant is mostly controlled by the waiter. Yes, the cook might turn your steak into a rubber boot and the hostess might irritate you by estimating that the wait time is “12 to 43 minutes”, but the waiter is the face of the operation.
So, at what point do you [...]
Four Things
I was going to wait until Friday (or Monday, or February) to put up a new and irregularly timed entry, but Angela Rutherford had other ideas, so instead, I’m playing the latest meme rage, “lists of four”. I spoil you people with all this new content.
Four jobs I’ve had
Mucked out horse stables at a [...]
Your kid is a Monster
Ever since I wrote an entry about kids a few weeks ago, it seems like people are talking about kids everywhere I go. Stories about their kids, and advice about kids, and people who might want to have kids, and names for kids, and…
I’m going to tell you a few things I don’t like [...]
X-Mas in the Trenches
There are two things that happen once a year and right around Christmas. Santa Claus brings the toys, and I go shopping. Not usually in that order. Incredibly, I’ve survived the last few weeks without any major incidents, and I only cried once. I did come close to cracking my head [...]
Where the Wild Things Are
As scary as it might sound to some of you, I’m probably going to have kids one day. The strange thing is that no matter how old I get, I don’t feel like I’m old enough to have kids. I work with several people my age who already have children, but they seem [...]
Thanksgiving is my kind of Holiday
More than just a feast, Thanksgiving is an event to celebrate. If they’d just add a gift exchange, it would be perfect. Oh wait. Nevermind. But really, what’s not to love? You’ve got Granny’s dressing, a bunch of sides, a little bit of the white meat, and plenty of football. [...]
Never Odd or Even
In this age of biggie size, oversize, up-size, and whata-size, who are they kidding putting two ibuprofen caplets in those single packages? Does anybody really only use two pills?
Two pills? That’s like eating one Dorito. It’s not very satisfying. I don’t even know how many I’m supposed to take. Is [...]
Mow, sputter, die…
Out in the suburbs, the neighbors are watching you. Probably not on a Desperate Housewives kind of level, but they’re watching. And passing judgment.
When I was living the apartment life, I couldn’t have picked my neighbors out of a lineup. I didn’t say anything to anybody unless they said something to me. [...]
Darth Tater: A Day in the Life
The dark lord discovered our hidden rebel base this weekend. This is what happened.
Never Lost, But Often in Doubt
Down here at the Second Negative headquarters, we make trip plans instead of taking trips. It’s not our fault, we had to mow the grass. If I could find a way to permanently stop working, while still drawing a paycheck, I’d get around to solving some of these problems.
Gas is too [...]
Zzzz…
I spend about 27% of my life yawning. And maybe 1% saying “daaamn” afterwards. I don’t sleep very much. If they develop a pill that allows you to stay awake indefinitely, I’d like to be involved in the drug trials. I think there was an X-Files episode about loss of sleep [...]
The Lost Month of June
Well, one thing led to another and then life happened, and long story short, there haven’t been any new entries since June 1st. I’d blame it on my cable connection, but they actually had that hooked up the week after we moved in. No, I guess Second Negative was just on summer hiatus.
I [...]
The Way You Talk
I’m considering asking my local congressman to sponsor a bill that makes losing your accent on purpose a crime against nature. Although it’ll mean several “country” singers that expanded into adult contemporary will have to be put away, it’s for the best. If everybody sounded like a reporter on the nightly news, what [...]
XXVIII (XXX – II)
“Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.” – Tom Wilson
The Duck Wore a Mohawk
Stop staring at my beak sucka! I pity the fool.
Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous
It seems that many of the people I know that are “well off” are also ridiculously tight with their money. We had an out of town guest this past weekend who is self-employed and makes a very nice living that doesn’t involve going to any sort of workplace. He has almost limitless free [...]
Galveston Island, Texas
During a trip to the Houston area this past weekend, we had an opportunity to visit Galveston Island. Texas is full of great places to visit, and the Gulf coast is an excellent place to start. I hope to get around to adding photos to the site from our many travels around the [...]
Hazardous to your Health
It’s possible that I have a saccharine addiction. It’s largely because of the region I grew up in, but my favorite drink has always been iced tea. People who don’t use artificial sweetener on a regular basis might try to convince you that all sweeteners are the same. I suppose I can [...]
Happy Thanksgiving
One of the great things about living in the same area as most of my family is that I can wake up late and drive the ten minutes over to my grandmother’s house on holidays. The bad part is that it also means that I never get to go anywhere. Couldn’t I have [...]
Halloween & the Weekend
I’m departing from my usual topic oriented posts to bring you a Monday morning slice of life. Yep, I’m one step away from telling you what I ate for breakfast. Oh, the horror.
Don’t get too excited by our ultra hip lifestyle, but we spent Halloween over at my grandparent’s house in North Austin [...]
The state fair of Texas
I took a few days off last week and we went to the Texas State Fair in Dallas. I’ve lived all twenty-seven years of my life in this state, but I’d never been to the fair before. There were people that told me it was a lot of fun, and the photos I’d [...]
Sharpie doodle artist
I’ve never been a morning person. When confronted with the startling news that I’m going to be late to work if I don’t get up, I usually offer a slightly slurred, “yeah, in a minute” in response. Sadly, this doesn’t fool Nicole, the morning person who has just spent countless minutes trying to [...]
Generational espionage
After watching countless Seinfeld reruns, I’ve come to the conclusion that my grandparents are in fact, real life versions of Jerry’s fictional parents. Morty and Helen, meet Virgil and Sally.
In an episode that aired the other night, Jerry’s father made a trip to the doctor. At the reception desk, he was given the [...]
Goodbye Harry-Boo
I read this morning that Kitta’s dog Harry passed away over the weekend. He had a brain tumor that apparently caused a massive seizure. I didn’t know Harry, but he reminds me of every dog that I’ve ever loved. Reading her story, I thought about running through the fields with Lefty and [...]
The great wide open
With two hurricanes hitting the Florida coast within weeks of each other, and the regular seasonal threat, I have to wonder why anyone would choose to live there. While I’m sure the coast is beautiful, it’s hard to believe that would outweigh the frequent possibility of losing everything you own, coupled with what must [...]
Vidya games
We (the long suffering girlfriend + me) are considering purchasing an X-Box. We figure that we can buy a few Jeopardy type games to play together and we’ll have a great time. It’s even possible that we’ll pick up Max Payne and pump some baddies full of lead. Now, isn’t that a [...]
Joe & Ben
Joe and Ben are friends. Joe is older, more experienced and generally wiser in the ways of the world. Ben is several years younger and generally inexperienced. This story takes place outside the realm of legality, so try not to factor that into your understanding.
Joe has been driving a lot longer than [...]