Second Negative

Never trust a man in a tie

A few weeks ago while waiting to speak to a financial advisor, a thought occurred to me. I don’t trust men wearing ties. I don’t like having to interact with these people. A full on suit makes it worse, and having a semi Gordon Gekko hairstyle triggers my fight or flight response.

And of course, right in line with my “everybody my age is an idiot” paradigm, the offense is exacerbated when the tie wearing is perpetrated by a guy in his 20’s. It’s only going to get worse next year because I’m going to stop trusting people in their 30’s while simultaneously starting to despise people in their 20’s. Life continues to get more difficult.

I suppose suits are supposed to symbolize success or professionalism, or some such nonsense. But, really? I mean, so you put on an ugly double breasted suit and shazaam, you’re somebody to reckon with? I don’t think so. In fact, I think most people in suits look like they’re selling something. How can we really get down to business with that suit between us? I’m sitting here wearing my jeans and polo shirt and you’re rattling off some bullshit nobody ever really believes anyway.

My theory is that only old people are impressed by suits. And by old people, I mean my parents, and your parents. And their parents. Would you think more or less of Bush if he always came out in jeans? It doesn’t make a difference to me. Maybe you don’t want the important types dressing like homeless people (or looking like they attend the local university), but the suit and tie seems a little dated. I say bring on the denim and loose morals. Whoooo.