We Admit Nothing
My boss at work likes to have new applicants meet with the entire team after she finishes the standard interview. The idea is that the applicant might relax more with potential co-workers and provide an idea of what it would be like to work with them on a daily basis.
A few weeks ago, a guy came in and while discussing his past experience mentioned that he used to do something with something else and it was used for some sort of statistical analysis. Make sense? Well, I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. I just sat there with a blank expression on my face and said “uh-huh, of course, yeah”, because when in doubt, fake it. Right? Sort of. See, what I’ve discovered (and confirmed after the interview) is that the “fake it” policy is mainly practiced by men. Women don’t seem to care. It took one of my female co-workers about ten seconds to ask him what he was talking about.
And just so you know, if you go through a period in your life where the cash flow is low, and you take your woman to the bowling alley, only to discover that bowling is too damn expensive for people who are almost broke, you can count on said woman announcing to anyone within earshot that you don’t have enough money to go bowling. Oh, you were busy working up an excuse that was less about a lack of money and more about your appendix suddenly bursting, but that plan just sailed, so scream like a girl and run to your car while looking at the floor. Or something less embarrassing.
The idea has been floated that women don’t care about reputation in the same way that men do. I read an article about workplace conversational styles a few months ago that said that men are afraid of being forced into a “one-down” position by asking for help, or admitting that they don’t know something. Women on the other hand think men waste time thinking about things that don’t really matter, instead of trying to get information. Like, uh…directions.
Of course, this doesn’t apply in all situations. There are a variety of influencing factors, including differences in relationships and settings. You may behave one way professionally, and another way in an academic setting. Or maybe you don’t care if the guy sitting next to you thinks you’re an idiot, as long as Bob down the hall doesn’t know. Because you’re better than Bob. But maybe not as smart as the closest woman.
