William Frist, M.D.
I’d pretty much prefer to be stabbed repeatedly with a hot poker than listen to Bill Frist (R-Tenn, Senate Majority Leader) make the case for George W. Bush. Of course, I just did a few minutes ago. I missed his address last night while making serious preparations for the premiere of Scrubs, so I thought I’d ruin my afternoon instead.
I’ll put aside the revisionist history and ridiculous declarations about Dubya’s “vision” for the next four years. You don’t need to have grown up in Texas to know horseshit when you see it. Or hear it. I wonder if helping to stall the economy with tax cuts for the rich was part of his vision four years ago? How about the bogus war in Iraq? Was that part of the vision? What about running up a record high deficit? Still part of the vision? The right wing partisan politics that divided the country even further? The wasted opportunity to grow stronger in our alliances? Oh right, all part of the vision. I’m afraid of what this administration would do with four more years to implement their vision.
Meanwhile, Frist took the opportunity to tell a story about the time his father came to visit him shortly after his election to Congress. Apparently his door read “William Frist”, and the old man took exception to the slight. It should have read William Frist, M.D.! William Frist is not just another man, he is a medical doctor. Well sure enough, Bill had it changed, and now it’s a constant reminder that he’s better than you. Okay, I paraphrased a little. The real question is, does he write William Frist, M.D. on the sign up list at Super Cuts, or just Bill? Shouldn’t they be on notice that he’s “committed to healing and helping people”?
Of course, healing and helping people can require a great deal of training. During medical school, Bill would often adopt cats from his local animal shelter. Isn’t that nice? Old stone heart giving a loving home to our furry friends. I’m all warm inside. Oh wait, I forgot about something. Bill wasn’t adopting a pet. He took them home and experimented on them to practice for school. I can’t be sure, but that must be part of what compassionate conservatism is all about. I wonder if he passes the “beer test” that the Republicans use to compare Bush and Kerry. Would you be interested in having a beer with William Frist, M.D.? Let’s see, his eHarmony profile reads, “Hardline conservative medical doctor from Tennessee seeks beer buddies. Interests include cultivating pompous attitude, telling stories about Dad, and experimenting on pets.”
I suppose I could offer a post with more substance to refute his preposterous contentions, but I’ll pass. I will mention that I laugh every time I hear a wealthy conservative talk about tort reform. It’s become great sport this year because John Edwards is a former trial lawyer. That’s right, a trial lawyer. It’s not just a buzzword at election time, but a true representation of ALL THAT IS UNHOLY. We’ll just ignore the merits of his particular cases, and the endorsement of several former adversaries who vote on both sides of the fence. Didn’t you hear me? John Edwards is a former trial lawyer. I wonder how many pets you have to adopt to get that job.
