Asleep in the waiting room
I wonder to what degree we are responsible for living up to our “potential”? Who sets this imaginary bar of achievement? Who decides when we have done all that we can? Is it wrong to choose a different life, an existence free of the slavery that comes with exploiting our talents for financial gain? Do we lose our gifts if they are not applied in only the strictest of ways? Are they less valuable?
Electing to discover these truths for himself, Ricky Williams announced his retirement from the NFL this weekend. He had played only five seasons as a professional. Most of the news stories have commented that Ricky has always been different than the average player. In interviews he was thoughtful and articulate, but often painfully shy, and was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder in 2001. He often spoke of finding inner peace, and the latest reports have said that he plans on returning to the University of Texas to complete his degree in education and pursue further work with children.
Ricky spent the last two seasons as a Miami Dolphin, establishing team rushing records, and leading the league in 2002. The Dolphins were shocked to learn of his plans to retire. Stunned might be more appropriate. There are those in the media and on his former team that have labeled his behavior selfish, as the timing of his retirement mostly prevents the Dolphins from signing a quality running back in the free agent market.
For his part, Ricky told the press, “I’m finally free. I can’t remember ever being this happy.” Who could argue with that? As a player, he often shunned the spotlight and had interests far from the playing field. Should he have played half heartedly to appease teammates or fans? Would that have been right? Perhaps while determining “what is important” he realized that life is a gift too precious to waste being unhappy. Don’t many of us wish that we had the courage (or financial means) to make that decision? Questioned about his resolve, he responded, “I was never strong enough to not play football, but I’m strong enough now”.
Dave Wannstedt, head coach of the Dolphins, told the press that he tried to convince Ricky to come back to Miami to talk about things. Since Wannstedt’s job is on the line, and losing a star player could wreck the season, his behavior is not unexpected. It’s impossible to know how he really feels. Mike Ditka on the other hand, was Ricky’s first coach in the NFL, and he had more disturbing remarks:
“You’re destroying a great career. He’s a talent. To let all that go to waste doesn’t make a lot of sense.”
Spoken like a true Neanderthal in my opinion. Not a single mention of how Ricky may feel, or what decision might be the best for him as a person. The only concern being that he not “waste” all that talent. It almost sounds like he’s talking about a racehorse.
Mack Brown, head football coach at the University of Texas, reminded me of the role college coaches play as teachers and mentors, and how sharply it often contrasts to their peers in the pros:
“When he asked me how I would feel about his decision, I told him I would like him if he had never played football. Giving up something you love to do is never an easy choice, and I respect Ricky for the thought that he has put into this. This is something he has considered for a long time.”
There are those that would define us by our actions, but that isn’t right. We are defined by our decisions. We can choose to live according to our own rules, without the approval of others. Have we failed if we choose a path that doesn’t maximize our gifts? Are our lives wasted?