Superhero maintenance
Anybody that goes to a comic book movie expecting the hero to lose the big battle against the major villain probably voted for Ralph Nader last election. The hero always wins. With the time saved from not having to ponder major plot points, I’ve been wondering about superhero maintenance. Think cleanup, not tune-up.
Most superheroes probably don’t require a great deal of maintenance. I mean, Superman and Batman destroy a lot of stuff sure, but people rarely notice, and with a little spackle, things are as good as new. Having recently gone to see Spider-man 2 (which was fantastic) I find myself wondering who cleans up all the leftover web that Peter Parker shoots all over town. The girlfriend, perplexed by the notion, offered, “you mean, it doesn’t go back in”. No, sorry. That would be awfully tidy, but after he lets go, I’d imagine it pretty much just hangs off the side of buildings. Maybe the house elves come out at night and take care of it.
While I’m at it, do you think anybody in a superhero movie has seen other superhero movies? Aunt May referred to Superman in part one, but that doesn’t really count. If I were a friend of Peter Parker, I might wonder about a few things. Like, I don’t know, why he’s the only one who is able to get photos of Spidey, why he disappears when danger is afoot, why his lateness seems to correlate with Spider-man nabbing some crooks. Not quite as transparent as Clark Kent’s “disguise”, but it’s not far behind.
I’d say it’s pretty much a guarantee that if a friend starts acting funny, being sneaky, and running away from danger, they might be a superhero. Or at least a Republican.