Second Negative

Thoughts on Bill

I picked up former President Clinton’s memoir last night. I have a book buying compulsion. I’ve barely made it a few chapters into “A Confederacy of Dunces”, and I have ten different Bush bashing books still to wade through. What are another thousand pages to feed the addiction?

Bill Clinton came along during my adolescence, and I needed him. I admired his charm and wit, as well as his vast knowledge of the issues and obvious intelligence. But what I loved most about the man is that he seemed curious about the world. He had many of the same questions any reasonable person would have, and he wasn’t afraid to admit that he didn’t have all the answers, but he’d love to talk about it.

People often say that his legacy was tarnished by the scandals during the later years of his presidency, but I’ve never thought so. Honestly, I didn’t give a damn. It’s possible I’m morally bankrupt, but I didn’t find his “crimes” to be so shocking or extreme, and I supported him throughout. I might have loved him more for proving so human and fallible. Some people claim to like Bush for similar reasons. Apparently his bumbling speeches and goofy smirk make him a regular guy, which is fine, but don’t confuse “fallible” with “complete dumbass”. People who believe responsibility goes hand in hand with intelligence or resolve, really don’t know much about the human condition.

My mother would laugh at this, but Clinton often made me think of my father. He was also an incredibly intelligent man with an encyclopedic knowledge, but he probably lacked the forum to make full use of his gifts. After he died and my mother replaced him with lesser educated men who valued action over thought, without consideration for purpose or meaning, I felt very alone. I wanted to have long conversations that mostly started with, “why”, but I was routinely met with “because” and that was the end of it.

It was depressing and unfortunate, but certainly preparation for the last four years of excuses without apologies, and compassion without understanding.